well son i hope you had a lovely 40th birthday yesterday the one you should have spent with us we all are still heartbroken son lifes not if onlys is it you left us a terrable burdon i say over and over why couldnt you have waited son that night is etched on our brains to see your only son lying there lifeless and knowing you cant come back is mind blowing son you where my pride and joy i was so so proud to have you as my son you knew you where loved unconditional i wish i could turn the cloc back and make very thing right you where my soulmate and i still can understand why you turned on me over her i never in my life dreampt you would hurt me like you did and the way you did it of all the things in life you detested was people hanging themselves and you put us thru that pain son why was i so wrong for loving my only son son the way i did remember what they used to say you and your presouse mother and you took all my love for you and lashed me over and over with it to prove to her she was the only one i wont ever stop hurting son i loved you so much i am still angry at you but i love you more i will say good night sleep tight and come and visit me im so sad at presant son i may even come to you my life is an awful place to be in at the minute speak later hugs and kiss`s mam